Divided Congress not even looking at each other during discourse anymore


WASHINGTON, DC – With partisanship at an all-time high, Congress hasn’t engaged in passionate, meaningful discourse in months. According to inside sources, even when discourse does occur, members of both parties agree it feels lackluster.

“Sometimes it just seems like there’s no connection,” said one misty-eyed senator from Arizona. “Like we’re just going through the motions when this thing has actually been over for a long time.”

Efforts to spice things up by passing a farm bill, usually an opportunity for intimacy across party lines, have so far failed to reignite the spark. The cold, lifeless committee hearings have left some to wonder if there is any hope for the governing body at all.