World braces itself as Trump realizes he can bomb stuff he doesn’t like


The world watched in suspense this week as the realization suddenly dawned on President Trump that he has the authority to reap total death and destruction upon basically anyone he feels like. People across the globe imagined the disgusting sense of power that must have overwhelmed the American leader as he impulsively ordered two separate military strikes over the last week.

“I guess we just have to cross our fingers and hope for the best at this point,” said one Minnesota man after watching the evening news. “It’s in God’s hands now.”

President Trump was last seen eating a cake by himself while staring at a map of California.