This shit is actually happening

donald_trump_by_gage_skidmore_2Despite desperate hopes that it was all some kind of sick dream, reports have now confirmed that this is actually real life and you are living in it.

“I thought maybe all this shit was in my head, and I was actually in a hospital bed somewhere in a deep, medically-induced coma,” said bewildered American Joseph Wright. “I kept thinking that I’d wake up and my wife would be there all teary-eyed, and assure me that it had all been a nightmarish coma dream.”

Unfortunately for Wright, and citizens of the world everywhere, the events of the last several months have been all too real. Experts confirm that you are not having a bad acid trip, and although it may seem like it, you have not died and been damned to eternal hell fire.

Even on the off chance that we are living in some kind of simulated reality, like in the Matrix movies, which is highly unlikely, experts urged Americans to ask themselves what kind of person they’d want to be president in that simulated reality.

Not Donald Trump. Fuck that guy.