JOEY’S BACKYARD – Local ten year old Hunter Johnson has reportedly burned himself “pretty bad” on a firework legally purchased in Minnesota, once again raising the safety issues associated with dimwitted children playing with fireworks.
“Parents, please, if your child is an idiot then please don’t let them play with fireworks,” said Minnesota Public Safety Director Bernie Hanzoff. “Have you seen the fireworks you can buy here? They’re lame as shit.”
Sources close to Joey’s backyard confirmed that it was definitely Johnson’s own fault that he got burned, and who the hell holds a firework like that when it’s lit? Johnson was last seen crying to his mommy like a big baby. Ị