Dimwitted child injures himself with Minnesota firework


JOEY’S BACKYARD – Local ten year old Hunter Johnson has reportedly burned himself “pretty bad” on a firework legally purchased in Minnesota, once again raising the safety issues associated with dimwitted children playing with fireworks.

“Parents, please, if your child is an idiot then please don’t let them play with fireworks,” said Minnesota Public Safety Director Bernie Hanzoff. “Have you seen the fireworks you can buy here? They’re lame as shit.”

Sources close to Joey’s backyard confirmed that it was definitely Johnson’s own fault that he got burned, and who the hell holds a firework like that when it’s lit? Johnson was last seen crying to his mommy like a big baby. 

Cold Hard Comments

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s