Increasing Un-productivity: 5 Tips To Maximize Your Day Off

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Ah, the precious day off. A day when you not only don’t have to work, but you don’t have any other plans or obligations either. With our phones and tablets keeping us constantly connected, it can be harder than ever to make the most of these rare days off and get some much-deserved rest and relaxation. Not to worry; if you follow these 5 tips, you’ll be laying on the couch watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix in no time.

1.) Sleep In You shouldn’t set an alarm, but if you do, turn it off when it wakes you up and just lay there in bed for as long as you possibly can. Sleeping in will ensure that you have as little time during the day as possible, thus making it less likely that you will be productive.

2.) Don’t Shower Not showering is a great way to say to the world “I’m not doing shit today.” People will know just by looking at you that you are not prepared to deal with any tasks they try to put you to. Try to wear the same shirt you slept in.

3.) Eat Whatever You Want Make a whole frozen pizza for lunch. Snack on chips. Eat peanut butter with a spoon. It doesn’t matter. It’s your day off.

4.) Don’t Do Anything You Don’t Feel Like Ignore the pressures of the outside world, especially emails and phone calls. Your car can wait another week for an oil change, and you can always catch your kid’s Christmas pageant next time around.

5.) Do We Really Have To Say It? Ok, it’s masturbating.

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