NASA Launches Giant Firework, Regains Public Approval

Orbital Sciences Antares LaunchWALLOPS FLIGHT FACILITY, VIRGINIA – NASA launched a massive firework Tuesday evening, lighting up the Virginia night sky and dazzling onlookers. The totally bad ass firework, dubbed the Antares Rocket, launched at approximately 6:45 p.m. Eastern time and ignited into a blaze of orange glory a few seconds later. The effort has already paid off for NASA, whose public support has been dwindling in recent years. “People are bored,” said NASA spokesman Jay Bolden. “But NASA is showing the public that we are willing to blow shit up if it means they’ll get behind the space program again.” Videos and images of the display have gone viral online, suggesting that the operation was a success. “There was no indicated loss of life,” Bolden told CNN in an interview this morning. “There was significant vehicle and property damage, though. It was awesome.”

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