Promiscuous Como Zoo Gorillas Pregnant Out Of Wedlock

Cross-River-Gorilla-Gorilla-gorilla-diehli)COMO ZOO, ST. PAUL – According to Como Zoo staff, two of the facility’s more sexually promiscuous female gorillas, Alice and Dara, have become pregnant. “It’s pretty obvious they didn’t consider the risks involved with unprotected, premarital sex,” said head zookeeper Carol Brendt. These are the first recorded pregnancies at the zoo, raising concerns that the abstinence-only sexual education course offered to the gorillas may not be as effective as hoped. Both females were impregnated by the same male gorilla, Schroeder, who the staff unanimously agree is a total player. “Alice and Dara should have known better than to get involved with a gorilla like Schroeder,” Brendt continued. “They had their whole lives ahead of them…”

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