MINNESOTA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL – According to reports, local man Jim MacDonald spent several hours at the Renaissance Festival without speaking to any of the numerous weirdos working at the event. MacDonald attended to spend time with his daughter, who enjoys the festival for its whimsy. “It was a harrowing experience,” said MacDonald of the ordeal. “But I managed to avoid all the real wing nuts.” The Renaissance Festival celebrates a bygone era of jousting knights, artisan craftsmanship, and obnoxious vendors mocking you in English accents. Although he normally would have waited in the parking lot, MacDonald did not want his daughter wandering around alone. He even managed to order a beer without engaging in dialogue with the “frilly-shirted fruitcake” serving it. Despite his reservations, it seems it was worth the hardship: “I did it for my daughter,” concluded MacDonald. “She’s into this shit.”