Man Who Lost Phone Basically Just Wandering Around

ConfusedManUPTOWN, MINNEAPOLIS – According to reports, local man Josh Keller has pretty much just been aimlessly wandering the uptown area since he lost his phone yesterday. “Yeah, he looks pretty confused” onlooker Beth Larson noted of the 25-year old man who lost his phone sometime between leaving William’s Pub and walking to MacDonald’s. Roommates report Keller hasn’t previously been without his Samsung smartphone since he bought it two years ago and uses it for virtually every aspect of his life, from navigation to sexual gratification. Attempts to reach Keller for comment have so far been unsuccessful.

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