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September 2, 2020September 2, 2020Vandelay

Vikings fans cool with Kirk Cousins getting COVID-19: “If he dies, he dies”

April 27, 2020September 2, 2020Vandelay

Could Biden candidacy sway pro-rape voters in 2020?

March 15, 2020March 15, 2020Vandelay

Hand sanitizer bottle now dirtiest object in local home

May 31, 2019May 31, 2019Vandelay

Deranged sociopath uses plastic straw

April 8, 2019May 31, 2019Vandelay

Minneapolis man finally figures out what the hell Final Four is all about

February 14, 2019February 14, 2019Vandelay

Ryan Adams refuses to apologize for insufferable music career spanning nearly two decades

April 12, 2018April 12, 2018Vandelay

John Boehner: ‘My Thinking on Cannabis Has Evolved’

March 27, 2018March 27, 2018Vandelay

Divided Congress not even looking at each other during discourse anymore

November 7, 2017April 5, 2018Vandelay

World’s extremists vow to keep ruining things for everyone else

August 22, 2017August 22, 2017Jackson Atkins

“It was worth it” says man blinded after staring at eclipse

August 15, 2017August 18, 2017Vandelay

President’s colon warns of “fire and fury” if fast food diet continues

April 13, 2017April 13, 2017Vandelay

World braces itself as Trump realizes he can bomb stuff he doesn’t like

April 12, 2017April 12, 2017Vandelay

Sean Spicer apologizes for every decision he’s ever made

April 11, 2017April 12, 2017Vandelay

Networks to add “bullshit” after all Spicer statements

November 9, 2016November 9, 2016Vandelay

“Bernie would have won” Sanders supporters helpfully remind everyone

November 7, 2016November 7, 2016Vandelay

This shit is actually happening

August 31, 2016August 31, 2016Vandelay

Shaun Hill: ‘Just look at these dogs for a minute’

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Coldest, Hardest:

  • Researchers find most effective weight loss method still cocaine, cigarettes
  • Hand sanitizer bottle now dirtiest object in local home
  • Divided Congress not even looking at each other during discourse anymore
  • Networks to add "bullshit" after all Spicer statements
  • This shit is actually happening

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